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    19 Dezember

    决战斯大林格勒

    从初一开始写影评,到现在坚持的比记日记还好,一丝不苟,写完了好几本,从来没想专业过,常常废话连篇,努力做到客观有时还是免不了写成了生活散文。可惜的是从来没有在电脑上打出来,不便保存。

    《决战斯大林格勒》,肯定不是我最喜欢的电影,却十分触动我的神经。

    我知道很多人钟爱《勇敢的心》或者《300》,那是因为它们带领观众用战争上层的视角居高临下的看战争。对于真正参加肉搏的成千上万的士兵来说,战争的真相是,每个人忙着听命,忙着活命,无暇他顾,特别是那些不以反侵略为名的战事。

    看《决战斯大林格勒》最有意思的地方是,你发现自己完全可以进入一个群体,当你认同他们的人性情感时,你便默认自己站在他们的一边——你不希望他们受伤、死亡,他们的落泪牵动你的心,仿佛你是他们的亲人——然而他们是德国纳粹,可见正义总是相对的,主观的。如果你了解对面战壕的俄国军队,你又会站在另一边的立场。

    战争最奇特的地方在于,它要求你和素未谋面无冤无仇的人你死我活,而你杀死的那个人可能在酒吧里能成为你投机的朋友。

    而最触动我的是,我们每天也在忙着听命,忙着活命,无暇他顾,有媒体、公司、学校、父母为你洗脑,告诉你一切一切是多么多么重要——真相是,自由的活着,有胳膊有腿的活着,最重要。

    掉了队伍的小兵问兵败投降的将军:主战场在哪里?

    我也在想,主战场在哪里?
    16 Dezember

    THE START OF ENDING

    她说:开始吧?
    他说:开始吧。
    于是他们各自朝相反的方向走开了,头也不回。
    11 Dezember

    0 RMB A CUP

    i make wonderful cappuccino now,
    no big noise any more,
    but a lot of foam: milk white holds chocolate brown in arm,
    whispering to your ear,
    you need a slice of bread with honey, or a few delicate cookies.
    such an obsession.
     
    even coffee from cafe is not as tasty as my handmade. seriously!
    it is not bad actually, to be a cafe waitress in a quiet place.
    i will present a hot fragrance into your hand, in freezing winter.
    seeing people cozy and warm brings me happiness.

    FACE

    我总记得那一刻,

    他们在混乱中击倒了一个全副武装的外国佬儿,

    烟尘盖住了他的尖叫。

    我奔过去,

    弯下腰,

    清晰地看见一张俊秀的脸,

    眼睛深处射出一道蓝色的阳光,

    照在我嘴边。

    多美,即使满面炮灰。

    忘了那是敌人,

    我喃喃自语:多可惜……

    04 Dezember

    BEHIND MIRROR

    i locked myself in bathroom looking into mirror for 30 seconds checking my face.
    after i stepped out, someone else walked in.
    a weird thought came into my mind: what if there is someone peeking at us behind mirror?
    maybe it is not a private space when you are making face to yourself or taking clothes off before shower.
    that is so embarrassing.
    but for the eyes behind, it is so much fun...
    01 Dezember

    MINIMAL

    my ideal lifestyle is to live super minimal.
    i love money, but i hate tons of materials. materials make me feel heavy, burdened, unfree.
    everyday when i got home i could not stop headache, fuck, why i have so many stuffs! what shall i do if i move back to Beijing?
    big house, beautiful car, a whole closet of shoes...lovely, but freaking tiring to even just think about.
    a perfect laptop, several pieces of high-class apparels and three pairs of best shoes(for leisure, sports and wintertime), a classic handbag, a -12 sleeping bag, and a normal cellphone.---all in one luggage. these are all i need to be with me. i can move around anywhere and do almost everything on my journey. ya, except my sewing machine, it is too heavy to carry...
    so now i have no more interests in shopping. window shopping only.